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Thursday, 4 July 2013

The Conflicted Rainbow


White light of course, is something of a mongrel.  All the different colours together, and there we have it. 

We think of our emotions as a spectrum, and the feelings like all the different colours.  Red, blue, green, orange, happy, sad, angry, joyful.  

We like some colours more than others.  Green is better than blue, if blue is sadness and green is hope.  And so we try to convince ourselves to always be one colour, and filter our experience of the whole world as best we can to shut out the rest.

There's two problem with what we're doing.  Firstly, it never works, ever, under any circumstances, no matter what we do, or how we do it, what techniques we use, what special books we read, what people we surround ourselves with, what successes we have in our lives, what riches we gain, what victories...

It just never works out for us, holding ourselves in 'happy' or 'joyful'.  All we ever do is create a cheap parody of this, and then we get can very blue indeed.  Or see red.  

But all of these things, all of these colours, all of these emotions - we split them up into this and that, this part and that part, but it's life, it's all life, the experience of living, of being a human, of being alive.

And when we can see the constant, obvious, ongoing impermanence of those little lines we draw, and let the lines slide away - as they do anyway - without fighting or grasping to make new ones, we find that the experience of life free of this structure contains all colours all at once.  They blend together, and nothing is lost, they're all still there, just as all the colours are there in a shaft of daylight.  There's melancholy, joy, sadness, poignancy, passion, hope, love - but there's no distinction between them and it makes no sense to give them names.  There's no real 'them' either, just a kind of symphony of experience, in which all things are.

Not a conflicted rainbow, with colours fighting colours.

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